Friday, June 19, 2009

An Introduction


Where did you get such a sick idea?  The apocalypse?  Seriously?  First, a brief anecdote.  If you want to skip the anecdote, the real meat is in the last two paragraphs.

While the thought to do this blog didn't cross my mind till some years later, my interest in the apocalypse has for some reason always been a part of my life.  As a child I was always interested in how humans began and to complete that thought, how we'd come to end.  My interest in our specie's origins up until now is probably why i decided to major in history in college.  All that death and destruction thought is pretty perverse stuff for an eleven year old but the thought of how other's around me viewed it didn't really cross my mind until I was almost done with college.  It became clear to me that almost everyone, not just me, has some sort of opinion or concern regarding our extinction.

So, one lazy morning, fighting off sleep in my renaissance history class (imagine that) I woke up trying to figure out how the discussion had wondered away from religious depictions in Italian art (lots of nudity was invovled) to finishing grad school and about how long our professor thought it would take.  There was apparently a grad student in our class and he was trying to get some kind of daddy-like approval from the professor, so he kept going on and on with him, meanwhile the poor man  was probably trying to figure out an exit strategy to get the lecture back on track again.  I was immediately bored with it.  Suddenly the professor said to all of us, “If you want to get your phd’s many of you won’t be getting them until 2012 or later.  So get on it!” 

I muttered something rhetorical to myself about how it wouldn’t matter anyways because the ancient Mayans said we’ll all be dead by then (I was citing some crap I had heard on the History Channel, which is always a nice dart board for history students to throw things at).

Apparently this was not stated that way.  What I said,  I said out loud in front of the whole class and in my half asleep stooper didn’t realize it.  Suddenly the girl behind me perked up, a girl who had said nothing all semester, exclaimed, “Don’t joke about things like that!”

Thinking she was being just as sarcastic as I was, I pressed on and said something like, “No seriously, the apocalypse is coming, it won’t matter if we have our phd’s by then because we won’t get to use them.”

“You don’t joke about the end times.  Haven't you read your bible?  Have you accepted Jesus Christ into your heart?”  And yes, that’s what she said.  I immediately realized I was having a serious conversation.  The professor finally figured enough was enough and took over the conversation by continuing his lecture while me and this girl looked at each other is complete dumbfoundedness.

I didn't mean to intentionally offend someone, so I apologized,“It was only a joke.”  I whispered.

“You don’t need to joke about it.”  She said back. 

“The world is not really going to end in 2012.” 

“You don’t know that.  Some people think it’s VERY likely.”  At this point I shrugged and turned around.  She was obviously offended.  There was no point going on about it.  For the remainder of class I sat there and wondered how she had gotten so far in school with such backwards thinking.

And then it hit me.  You don’t have to be dumb or smart to believe the apocalypse is coming.  We’re being bombarded with it constantly.  If it’s not from some theocratic angle it’s in the news, on tv shows, on the radio, all over the internet, and in the video games we play.  Human kind is advancing (sort of), becoming over populated, and resources are being stretched thin.  To this end, it's no wonder people get so up-in-arms about how we're all heading towards an apocalyptic disaster of some kind.  The idea is so prevalent, it's like we've accepted from birth.  So I thought, why not talk about it?  Why not demystify some of the bullshit surrounding it?  And if we can, why not laugh about?  We're all going to go the way of the dinosaurs sooner or later... Or are we?

So this is my plan and hopefully you readers, the four or five of you that there are, will find it amusing.  I’m going to dedicate this space for all things “apocalypse style”—that is anything and everything pertaining to the notion and practice of figuring out how the world will end, and what, if anything, could be funny about all this hub-bub.  Anything is fair game.

 

Thanks be to the end!

No comments: