Monday, June 29, 2009

The Apocalypse of 2012 pt. 2


When we think the end of the world, we generally think, "Oh fuck."  With 2012 just two and a half short years away we'd better start enjoying life and preparing for the end right away!  
 
What are you going to do?  I know I for one am going to finally turn my bathroom into a distillery and start making hooch.  If prisoners in maximum security prisons can do it, I'm sure I can do it too.  Then I'll sell it.  I'll become the Donald Trump of the post apocalypse. 
 
I've seen to wander off subject again.  Anyways, check out these loony sites if you're actually serious about this whole 2012 business,  
 (If I were you I'd go ahead and write some kind of book about 2012 being the end because the market is about to explode in that whole area.  Disaster-Prophesy literature is booming, just ask Nostradamus).  

http://www.apocalypse2012.com/

http://2012apocalypse.net/


If you don't want to go through the trouble then let me break it down for you:

      1 part (religion) 
+ 1/2 parts (Science)  
+ 1 parts (Astrology)
+ 1/2 parts (Ancient Mythology)  
______________________________

the square root of FEAR of the Unknown  

=

Apocalyptic Prediction

There will be more on this theorum at a later date but as you can see, predicting the apocalypse is a very complicated matter and requires integers, long division, multiplication, and courage in the face of irrational numbers--not to mention years of training that I just can't break down to you in a few paragraphs and equations.  
 
This leaves us somewhat befuddled.  Confused?  Don't be, it all adds up in the end! (no pun intended).
 
In modern times there seems to be a surface level feeling of anxiety which hints that something big and bad is in the future.  Pinning a date on it, like 2012, makes it more tangible and real; however, no less than what is already at hand.  There are lots of ways we could wipe ourselves out right now!
    
What ways you ask? 
Well how about bio-terrorism, nuclear holocaust, killer bees, and the cluster fuck that is becoming global warming?  It's true, yes we have a lot to be concerned with.  Not to mention the completely unexpected, like aliens from a distant planet invading, or Earth getting hit by a giant asteroid, or the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland actually creating a black hole that then swallows the Earth whole.  No wonder why predicting the end of the world can get so dizzying!  
 
Next, we'll look at how the media exploded a rational danger in the Y2K problem of 1999 and caused panic in America and at the local Home Depot store.

 
To Be Continued...

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