"The War Game" (1965)

Apocalyptic cinema is making a come-back.  In the wake of successful films like "Children of
 Men," and the hype surrounding the upcoming movie, "The Road" audiences are beginning to take the genre more seriously.  Past problems with the genre like bad plots, poor special effects, and Kevin Costner, have caused a great dwindling of credibility on films and directors to actually deliver.  Despite these problems there have been many successes.  That said, perhaps none have been as riveting and shocking as Peter Watkin's film, "The War Game."

The 1966 film, pseudo-documentary, "The War Game," is no-joke, one scary as hell piece of apocalyptic cinema.  Based in the 1960's Cold War era the movie is a step-by-step account of what would happen to England if it were caught in the middle of a nuclear showdown between the US and USSR.  The shaky hand-held and news reporting style of the movie adds a very tangible layer of credibility lacking in most films on the same subject.  

In great detail the narrator explains the scenes unfolding.  One in particular was a burning neighborhood that had a direct hit by an atom bomb that exploded in mid-air before reaching its target, The London Airport.  Grotesque images of people with burns, burn victims, and fire-fighters dying of suffocation while trying to fight fierce 100 mile an hour fallout winds is enough to take your breath away.  Highlighting the action all along the way is the soothing British narrator, whose cold voice explains how the real horror of nuclear war will unfold after the bombs go off.  No surprise it won the oscar for best documentary in 1966.

In the years since the Cold War has concluded the movie has fallen into obscurity.  I didn't know about it until watching a trailer for it on Killerfilm.com's top ten list of the most controversial films ever made.  After premiering in Britain the public reaction to the movie was so strong that the BBC banned it until 1983.  

I feel very thankful that I was able to grow up in a time when fear of being vaporized in a nuclear holocaust was not something I had to live with everyday.  It is perhaps this lack of impending nuclear doom that has opened the doorways for apocalyptic fans to spin stories of other impending dooms like the bullshit that was Y2K and soon bullshit-to-be hysteria of 2012.  

Nothing will really ever come close or be more of a reality than those dark days in the 1960's when the possibility of Russia and the United States turning the world into a big parking lot seemed almost certain.  While we still retain the weapons to do such things, and the possibility is still real; the promise of mutually assured destruction has so far worked to insure our safety.  Only time can tell though.

Thanks be to the end!

Michael Jackson, Dead; Four Horsemen Still at Large.

Since capitalizing on recent celebrity deaths is all the rage nowadays we here at the Apocalypse Blog feel compelled to do our part.  It's sad that people die.  Yet; one person, one special person who danced really well, sang pretty, donated lots of money to charities, and built his own personal amusement park, is all the American News Media Wants to talk about.  For the first time in ages I actually watched Fox News because, while I wouldn't call what they do reporting, they were at least running Michael Jackson stories at less of a rate than MSNBC, CNN, HLN, MTV, E, and VH1.  It seems MJ's death, (and yes, anyone who is in the "KNOW" calls him 'MJ') is the only thing the news and every major media outlet can talk about.

So here's a retrospective on where we are in relationship to the end of the world now that Michael Jackson has died and stopped breathing the same air we breath.  

For starters, 1.7 million other people, some of who didn't dance so well or sing so pretty, happened to die as well.  Not to make MJ feel so alone, statistically speaking, some of them had to be child molesters and drug abusers as well as having family problems that probably caused all of that to begin with.  Some of them were other celebrities.  According to census reports with 146,357 people dying each, that leaves quite a few dead after the twelve days spanning Jackson's death and funeral.  

In the meantime, while I was glued trying to figure out some kind of secret code to the end of the world hidden within the news of Jackson's downfall, North Korea figured out a code of their own and launched a successful cyber attack against the US.  This wasn't the typical forum flaming, "LAWLS.. USA SUCK A DICK NOOBFACE ROFL COPTER... KIM JON IL JUST PWNED YOU LIKE  A BITCH," from what I understand it was a little more serious than all that.

Also, Obama sent the Marines into southern Afghanistan.  Some died, but who cares?  MJ's babies' mama is pissed she doesn't have custody.  Well, good news, there's so many ongoing custody cases in the US that they can't all be counted.  So at least we know she's not alone.

And lastly, while Michael Jackson had a nearly state sponsored funeral/rock concert in his name to send him off, most of us will die and have only a few sad relatives and friends in attendance.  Our funerals will end up costing our families thousands of dollars, most of which they'll have to pay on their own.  Michael Jackson's funeral costs over 1.5 million dollars and his family is asking fans and friends for donations to help them pay for it.  For a man who was once valued at being worth hundreds of millions of dollars, surely there's a spare million and a half lying around somewhere.

If all of this is leaving you quite baffled, fear not.  If you're wondering what all this has to do with the impending apocalypse then chew on this for a second.  Thirteen news and media channels (by my count) carried the live coverage of Michael Jackson's funeral.   five of which are not even news channels.  What channels you ask?  Well, there's ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, NBC WallStreet, CNN, HLN, FOX NEWS, MTV, VH1, BET, E, WGN, That's more stations that cover presidential declarations of war, State of the Unions, and press conferences announcing giant space rocks are on collision courses with planet Earth.  If you're not baffled by any of this then there has got to be something wrong with you.  An important person died but he was no Albert Einstein, John F. Kennedy, Gandhi, or Mother Theresa, so lets remember that.  Something is wrong when we live in a world that values its entertainers more than its leaders and problem solvers.  The end must be near.

Thanks be to the end!

The Apocalypse of 2012 pt. 2

When we think the end of the world, we generally think, "Oh fuck."  With 2012 just two and a half short years away we'd better start enjoying life and preparing for the end right away!  

 

What are you going to do?  I know I for one am going to finally turn my bathroom into a distillery and start making hooch.  If prisoners in maximum security prisons can do it, I'm sure I can do it too.  Then I'll sell it.  I'll become the Donald Trump of the post apocalypse. 

 

I've seen to wander off subject again.  Anyways, check out these loony sites if you're actually serious about this whole 2012 business,  

 (If I were you I'd go ahead and write some kind of book about 2012 being the end because the market is about to explode in that whole area.  Disaster-Prophesy literature is booming, just ask Nostradamus).  

http://www.apocalypse2012.com/

http://2012apocalypse.net/

If you don't want to go through the trouble then let me break it down for you:

      1 part (religion) 

+ 1/2 parts (Science)  

+ 1 parts (Astrology)

+ 1/2 parts (Ancient Mythology)  

______________________________

the square root of FEAR of the Unknown  

=

Apocalyptic Prediction

There will be more on this theorum at a later date but as you can see, predicting the apocalypse is a very complicated matter and requires integers, long division, multiplication, and courage in the face of irrational numbers--not to mention years of training that I just can't break down to you in a few paragraphs and equations.  

 

This leaves us somewhat befuddled.  Confused?  Don't be, it all adds up in the end! (no pun intended).

 

In modern times there seems to be a surface level feeling of anxiety which hints that something big and bad is in the future.  Pinning a date on it, like 2012, makes it more tangible and real; however, no less than what is already at hand.  There are lots of ways we could wipe ourselves out right now!

    

What ways you ask? 

Well how about bio-terrorism, nuclear holocaust, killer bees, and the cluster fuck that is becoming global warming?  It's true, yes we have a lot to be concerned with.  Not to mention the completely unexpected, like aliens from a distant planet invading, or Earth getting hit by a giant asteroid, or the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland actually creating a black hole that then swallows the Earth whole.  No wonder why predicting the end of the world can get so dizzying!  

 

Next, we'll look at how the media exploded a rational danger in the Y2K problem of 1999 and caused panic in America and at the local Home Depot store.

 

To Be Continued...